How to find meaning in life

Happiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life…

We can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass.

‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’

Find what makes you happy

If you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on.

After a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favor of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganize your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’

Think back to your childhood

Another trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure?

Also, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways.

This could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi.

Don’t be impulsive

Beware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous.

‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap.